I've been hanging out with Boner a lot these days, and for the last two or three weeks all he's been talking about is this movie called Role Models (2008). At first, I didn't really care about it. Frankly, it's sometimes easier to just not care about what he says, but when he didn't stop talking about it I became somewhat intrigued. I decided to sit down and watch it.


Basically, two guys are sentenced by court to spend 150 hours participating in a community mentorship program called Sturdy Wings, where they become mentors, a.k.a. "bigs," to young, misfit children a.k.a. "littles."

It turned out to be a pretty good movie. If you haven't seen it I definitely recommend it. I think it comes out on DVD this weekend actually. But anyway, after watching it I began thinking about what it would've been like as a child to have my own "big" and how it would've effected me as a person, and also who I would want my "big" to be. Oddly enough, of all the people in the world all I can think of is Boner. Maybe it's because he hyped up this movie so much or just because I'm writing a Boner Bulletin......... or maybe it's just because it would've been fucking tight!!!!!!!


In this sense, Boner is an icon of hope for all 'littles' in this world. He's capable of teaching kids many life lessons that others couldn't/wouldn't dare teach! Things like how to make cookie dough ice cream in an ice cream factory, how to shotgun a beer without missing a drop of alcohol, and how to turn a boring old minivan into a way of life! These are the kinds of things kids will need to know in the future! Boner as a BIG would be good and I recommend you introduce your child to him at once....

In conclusion, Boner can teach your children what's necessary in life to just get by. All else is unnecessary, especially since the apocolypse is nearing. How to get by after that is up to your kids. I suggest they play video games. That will teach them what they need to know once that happens. Don't believe me? Watch this video.




From both Boner and I, have a fantastically wonderful day!


To view all of the Boner Bulletins, click here!